Written by Claudia, Tue Oct 13 4:51:45 US/Pacific 1998
Part One
Gabriel stretched. He had worked the night away, but it had been worth it. The new story was looking great. Man, he had to show it to Grace straight away. He was about to get up, when he remembered. Grace wasn’t there. She hadn’t been there for over three days now. In fact, that was one of the reasons he had worked all night long. Because he couldn’t stop thinking how big of a jerk he was. Gabriel walked over to the window and looked out on the mountains far away. The sun was going to rise soon. He remembered how Grace had once said that she would love to see those mountains covered with snow. She wouldn’t see them now, unless she came back. And she wasn’t going to. He knew that. And he hadn’t even asked her to stay. He didn’t want to pressure her, that’s what he thought at the time. ‘At least you could have tried, you jerk!’, he thought to himself. But no. He had gone of playing lord of the manor. Grace was free to do whatever she wanted. But he hadn’t considered how much he was going to miss her. Or maybe he had, and was just too proud to tell her. Now he was by himself on that big, draftee castle. Well, there was Gerde, of course, but it wasn’t the same. No matter how much he liked Gerde, she would never take Grace’s place. Grace had stayed by his side all through the Black Wolf ordeal and she had never complained, even when he had snapped at her because he was in so much pain. She had stayed by his side, day and night, watching for him, fearless of what he could do to her if he… changed. And she had moved heaven and earth to save him from that nightmare and succeeded. And she stayed by his side while the doctors made tests, and through the full moon nights after it all, when he couldn’t sleep, wondering if everything was really all right. And then, one morning, she had told him she was going back to the States, to school. At the time, Gabriel had thought that letting her go was the best he could do to show her how much he cared. Letting her go on with her life. That if he asked her to stay was going to sound as if he was thinking only of his convenience. Grace had the right to do has she chose. He didn’t have the right to stand in her way. But now… now he wished he had at least asked her to stay. Just asked. But he hadn’t. And Grace had gone home thinking he couldn’t care less if she stayed or not. He had realised that when he called her. She sounded so cold… and distant. She had hardly asked him how he was doing. Or told him how she was doing, for that matter. And once again he had lost the chance of telling her how much he missed her.
‘Morning, Gerde.", he said as he entered the kitchen. "Gutten Morgen, Gabriel." the blond young woman smiled. "You’ve been up all night haven’t you?" Gabriel grinned. "Yep. Found my inspiration, I guess." "That’s nice. Another Blake Backlash story?" "Nope. No more Backlash stuff. This time it’s for real. The kind of story Grace would approve of…" he didn’t go on. Remembering Grace again made him loose all his appetite. Gerde looked at him attentively. She understood what he was going through. If only he realised how important Grace was in his life… Maybe he would soon. "Well, anyway it’s a change for the better. At least, I think so…" Suddenly, a strange sound echoed through the castle. As if a draft had made a door close. "Jesus!" Gabriel jumped to his feet. "The wind must really be strong! These doors don’t swing that easily!" Gerde frowned. The wind wasn’t strong and she didn’t remember leaving any windows open. "I’m going to check it out, Gerde. We better close everything or soon every dish in the house will break." Gabriel said while he left the kitchen. It didn’t take him long to find out what had made the noise. The door on Grace’s room was closed and the chair next to it had fallen on the floor. Gabriel entered the room but no windows were open. "That’s strange", he thought. Maybe the wind had shut the window too. Anyway it didn’t matter. He breathed in deeply. He could still feel her perfume hanging on the air. Sweet, tender. Gabriel walked over to the bed and softly let his hand roam through the pillow. He smiled sadly, remembering the night he was so scared of turning into the wolf again that he had forgotten everything and came to her in the middle of the night, tears running down his face. She had held him all through the night, while he incoherently babbled away, telling her how scared he was, until he finally fell asleep. And in the morning he had left the room, before she woke up and had never mentioned it again. In fact, he avoided the subject, as if he was ashamed of what happened. And he had known he had hurt her by doing that. But he couldn’t tell her why he had really left. Since he had been sick from the wolf bite, his senses were working at full speed, and he was more aware of certain things now than he had ever been. And during his sickness he certainly was aware of HER. There were times he wanted her so bad it hurt. But he couldn’t do a thing about it. And that night… he had waken up near dawn and found himself sleeping by her side, her head resting against his shoulder. God, she was so beautiful! He had never seen her looking so calm, so peaceful. He had to gather all his self-control not to kiss her. And God knows that wasn’t the only thing he wanted to do. Gabriel shook his head, trying to drive those thoughts away. He focused his attention on something he saw on the floor, by the window. He came close to it and knelt. There was a small pile of dust gathered there. He picked a bit up with his fingers and watched as the sunlight made it shine. "Golden dust." he thought. "Weird! Hell, I’m the guy who chases werewolves and stuff! This is my place… weird things are bound to happen!"
Grace found herself drawing away again. Looking at her watch, she realised she had been doing so for a whole hour. She hadn’t heard a word of what her teacher was saying. Grace sighed as she looked at her notebook and saw how her drawings strangely resembled a certain talisman. "Christ!" she thought. "I’m going crazy!" Since she had returned from Germany, about a week ago, Schloss Ritter and its new owner seemed to be the only thing on her mind. Often she had wondered if she had done the right thing by leaving. And often she scolded herself for even wondering. Gabriel hadn’t even asked her once to stay. He simply nodded when she told him she was leaving, and said he understood and he wished her luck. Of course he would, now he didn’t need her anymore. She didn’t even know why she was so surprised. It wasn’t the first time he did it. But what really made her mad was that she had said it almost as a test. Well, she was really considering the possibility of going back to school, but she was also considered the possibility of NOT going back. And if he had asked her to stay… if only he had said the right words. But he hadn’t. Hell, she didn’t understand how a writer could be so clumsy with words. How he always found a way of screwing things up. It was part of his charm! Now she had to deal with it. There was something else bugging her. She was having strange dreams about Schloss Ritter. Gabriel wasn’t in them, which was even stranger. In her dream, there was a woman roaming through the corridors of the castle… a red haired woman wearing a dress in 18th century style. The dream was just about that. She walked and walked… as if she was looking for something. And then she would look at her reflection on a mirror, but it was Grace’s own face that was reflected. "I guess I’ve spent to much time earing of Gabriel’s own dreams!". She sighed. "God, I really do have to get a life!"
If you have any comments, you can email Claudia at bfe2008@mail.telepac.pt.
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